Finding Us

"Dream with me about Us" ...
March 2001

This week ministry happened, it's what we do not who we are. My identity is in Christ ... I am loved, I am cherished, I am adored. He has purposed me to be a wife, a mom, a nurse ... This week, the intensity of communicating in a second language from the depths of our souls has taken it's toll. This is about Us.

I've jotted numerous comments in my writing notebook ... thoughts that I could possibly scribe to an anticipating audience.  However, as I sit to pen my thoughts none of them seem inspiring for today ... There's been this veil, or cloud or something fuzzy obscuring "something" ... I couldn't figure out what it was but something was just off in my life at home.  I keep asking Father to bring clarity and show me what "it" was ... Nothing ... It was like I could hear Him while "doing ministry" but at home He was veiled.  This morning, in the sweetness of waking from our dream world, my soulmate whispered three, simple, profound words that broke whatever "it" was ... "I miss us". In those sacred moments that followed, through tears of understanding, it became clear to me ... I miss us too!

Us was so easy before, it took very little effort to be Us.  From the moment we met, the Us that happened was fun, in love, carefree, scheduled, a team, balanced, full of grace, connected, understanding, tolerant ... We didn't have to try, Us just happened, we loved Us ... Us was easy.

Life in CR has affected how Us functions in the role of marriage, parenting, church, ministry ... life. With the intensity of communicating in a second language, it's become easier for Us to not talk ... We are relational everywhere we go, Us got tired of relating at home ... Us as a couple functions differently here, sometimes as selfish individuals ... The way we parent as Us is different, at times demanding instead of understanding teammates. It was subtle for awhile but as all divisive plans of the Enemy happen, it kept festering ... we opened the door to "sometimes it's easier not to talk and just ignore" ... And therefore, Us began to change.

Finding Us ... Time, patience, affirmation, deeply loving and respect. Simple right? ... How can this journey of Us encourage and inspire others? Hope, peace, resilience, His favor, giants defeated, mountains moved, enemy of lies crushed ... No matter the fire, valley or storms we trudge through, He has a plan, purpose and hope for Us ... You know, the Us that He birthed 17 years ago, the one that is built on Christ our Solid Rock!

I am Love, I am Adored, I am Cherished ... I am HIS and his ... Solid foundation

Life on the Mountain

Ministry ... Praying the El Salvador team home through Nicaragua ... Celebrating 61 years of life with Samuel and missing Margot ... Open doors at El Nido, her faith brings hope in a desperate situation, God always provides ... Night out for Micah with the team, yup, he needs teen time ... Celebrating Daddy's graduation in town Saturday with dinner and a movie. And this happened ... Completed his course in Spanish as a second language! ... And Heredia won!

Praises

-Vida El Salvador team arrived safely, no hassles through Nicaragua

-We are healed from all the colds, sore throats

-Secretaries at school who laugh with me at my mistakes

-Connections that honor Him

-His faithful provision of food when all hope seemed lost

Prayers

-Finding Us

-El Salvador team, shifting roles and location. Pray for healing on their hearts and faith to see Jesus in the storm.

-Austin for hope, encouragement and to know his purpose

-Healing for Quios family

-Nellie's heart, open doors to share Father's love

-That we would speak life to each other
-Parenting Jedidiah and wisdom on a counselor
-Finances for VidaNet  vidanetonline.org/friends-vidanet

Birthday dinner overlooking the City with my Mighty Men

Happy birthday Dada ...
You can have my sun glasses for you birthday!

Kindergarten picture ID

Rainbow Uni-Kitty ...
When you're bored shopping with mom,
you explore the toy aisle!

Mott's Applesauce, 3 - 14 oz bottles ... $18.50
No, we didn't buy it!

Joseph built a cardboard boat ...
This boy's got talent ...
Mom, can I put wheels on it?

Dinner out with the Family ...
Happy birthday Samuel (center)

One of the boys ...
fighting over who gets to hold him next!

My mighty men ... where have the years gone ...
Growing in stature before God and man!
"Knowing our power-source personally gives us confidence in our role as servants to the King."

Worlds Apart

Planting seeds to remember
our lives have value!

Our worlds collide weekly in The Nest (El Nido) ... it has become a safe place, a common ground for us. While nestled in this sanctuary enjoying each other's company, we find life ... peace.  The counselor and the beneficiary, the day decides who plays what role.  Our worlds couldn't be more different. One lives in plenty, the other in great need.  One from a 3 bedrooms house on the Mountain, the other from a one room house in 'the Ditch' (La Cuenca). One has tasted and seen the goodness of The Provider, one struggles with materialism, wanting more. One sinks under blankets at night, the other shares her bed and doesn't sleep much. One has 4 boys who can take care of themselves, the other has 4 boys under 3 years old.  One has a stable, secure marriage, the other has a Father of Baby who has returned after a year and half ... he didn't know he fathered twins. One has a strong faith knowing that God will provide for her every single need ... she couldn't survive without Him, the other struggles with self reliance ... because there is money for provisions.

We've discovered laughter, tears and faith as a common ground. We share the joy of finding second hand clothing at a good bargain and love to hear about weird medical stuff ... we both have a great need to be loved, accepted and touched ... the intensity of parenting and the necessity for alone time drives us to our knees before His Throne ... we both struggle with choosing joy in all things, wishing we wouldn't gain weight, and have random health issues.

My prayer on my drive to El Nido is that I could understand her heart, speak life to her soul and offer His hope. However this week, she played the role of counselor.  She spoke life to my soul with a word of encouragement, an admonishment of hope, and shared His promise ... "Our beauty shouldn't come from our outer self but should come from an inner beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit ... I WILL keep in perfect peace if my mind is fixed on Him ...Why do I worry about what I should eat or wear, He cares for the lilies of the field." She feeds my soul with her mountain moving faith, it's her lifeline.  Where does He want you to find common ground?

Worlds apart ... Common ground ... Sharing life in The Nest

Life on the Mountain
So much information being packed into ones brain for certain something is being forgotten ... trying to rest and restore health to our bodies, can I go to bed at 7:30? ... Adam's first field trip in his history of school, visiting a Farm tour and learning how to milk a cow in CR! ... Jedidiah's turn, visiting the National Museum and learning about CR history ... we were all distracted from life as we spent the day caring for baby Declan ... Teaching about the value of our lives and the gift of eternal life at El Nido ... feeling worldly as we shopped at Auto Mercado ... Celebrating a year of life and health for my handsome hubby.

Praises
Celebrating life with my sweet hubby ... HAPPY BIRTHDAY handsome!
Martha's hope
Our lives have value ... HE desires life to the fullest for us.
Mango season! Even the locals are talking about it : )
Ears that hear and a heart to understand
Sun filled days for drying wash
Quick healing for Jen's dad
Open doors to practice English with our dear landlords ... if they keep learning I'm going to have to stop writing about them in here : )

Prayers
URGENT - One of our teams is traveling from Honduras, through Nicaragua to CR today and tomorrow.  Please pray for safety as they travel through Nicaragua and for border crossings.
-El Salvador team, shifting roles and location. Pray for healing on their hearts and faith to see Jesus in the storm.
-Healing from sore throats and congestion
-That we would speak life to each other
-Father to be revealed a we practice English with them
-Wisdom on a counselor for Jedidiah
-Finances for VidaNet  vidanetonline.org/friends-vidanet

What El Tule friends think of Micah ...
Great idea Hannah!

What El Tule friends think of Joseph

What El Tule friends think of Jedidiah

When your buddy leaves his mask in the van ...

"To the bat cave Robin!" 

My big boy acting like a big brother ... 
can't get enough of this pequeno amiguito!

When you don't have a exer-saucer or walker ... 

Co-op Friday ... snack time ...
sharing life and fun

Celebrating the gift of life with this Mighty Man ... 

Micah 5:4 "He (Daryl) will stand and shepherd his flock in the strength of the Lord, in the majesty of the name of the Lord his God.  And they will live securely, for then HIS greatness will reach the ends of the earth and HE will be their peace!"

The Fragrance of Intimate Friendship

Peg and Fran

"Friendship develops and grows when we share every experience." ... Thinking about my bestest girlfriend brings me great joy!  In our pre-wife, pre-mom life, we spent every waking moment together ... I don't know where our friendship begins or ends, it's just all mixed together. We have a deep understanding and intimate knowing what each other feels and thinks ... we can act 5 or 45, it doesn't matter ... we finish each others sentences and laugh hysterically at the silly names we give each other ... when we sit and talk, it's face to face usually curled up with a blanket and favorite drink ... she lets me cry and makes me laugh like no other ... I can completely be myself and she loves me in all my craziness ... People usually take notice when I've been with her.  I've laughed a lot so my make up is smeared, my heart is lighter and I feel full of life, having laughed my worries away.  She's the pine in my apple, the peanut in my butter, the natilla in my tortilla, being with her makes everything better! She is on my heart a lot, I think of her often and can't imagine life without *Peg. (*name changed for confidentiality : ) ).

I often ponder ... do people to take notice that I've been with my Father?  I mean, I think they notice when I'm not communing with Him.  It's quite humbling when one of my mighty men notices and points out that I'm lacking communion with Father ... they see the effect and smell the stinky stench of my foul humanness when I covet my weariness and refuse to not be anxious.  In reality, all the above stated is replicated with Peg because it first began with Him. When I spend time with Him, my make up is usually smeared, my heart is lighter and I feel full of life!  To share/give/lay down every experience with Father, and not try to carry it on my own fills me with peace which in turn reflects that I'm communing with Him. I can hardly comprehend the beauty of being so intimately connected with Him that I emit His fragrance without even knowing it. Oh to be the sweet, sweet fragrance of my Father! This song has been the cry from the depths of my soul ...   https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JXrGBjKyMvY

 Whose fragrance are you emitting today?

Life on the Mountain
Celebrating Adam asking Jesus to clean out his heart and make His home there. His tender heart had been processing this for awhile and we've talked often about it ... I finally coated the peanut butter and coconut cream eggs (after Easter) ... We had two intense executive leadership meetings. The gift in these meeting times is that we usually start out with "how are you doing?" God continues to bless our hearts with openness to share our joys and sorrows in these times ... El Nido Eye clinic. Unfortunately, the Eye Dr. was diagnosed with a tear in his retina from hitting his head earlier in the week.  The three day eye clinic turned into one day of successful chaos! I can't even tell you the joy of fitting glasses for those who can't afford them.  As I took their brief health history I felt like a nurse again! Thankfully, the team is planning to return to finish what they started ... A cookout to celebrate 6 April birthdays ... Playing with the kids in La Cuenca ... School projects and Sports Festival ... Worship team practice ... Three more weeks of language study for Daryl ... And more of normal life praying that we emit His fragrance to all we meet, and to each other!

Monday April 2 ...
Adam sat at the breakfast table and said
"Jesus is alive! Him was dead but now Him's alive!"
... a few minutes later...
"Mama, can you pray with me to ask Jesus to clean
 out my heart and make Him home there?"
... YES! ... "Mama, why you crying?"
Because Adam has tasted and seen that the Lord is good!

Praises
-Adam giving his heart to Jesus
-My left foot is healed!
-Morning walks with my hubby
-Laughter and life in our boys
-Health
-Martha's hope in the midst of great need


Prayers
-To emit Father's fragrance wherever we go (including when we stay home!)
-Safety for Delynn, Gloria and teams having training in Honduras
-Opportunities for Micah, he's grieving the loss 'normal' teenage years
-Me, as I continue to learn the vocabulary of the language of School
-Creativity for Jedidiah in his down time
-Adam, to be brave when he goes to school
-Daryl, language understanding and initiative to talk
-Joseph, to find life outside our home
-Finances for VidaNet   vidanetonline.org/friends-vidanet

Papi and Don Papi grillin the birthday meat!

Celebrating life in April ... the 6 cumpleaneros

Uncle Bryan, they figured it out!

Crazy balloon fun ... it's a balloon backpack

Perfect size, perfect color, perfect vision!

No, it's not a radar gun! ... Measuring something ocular.

Taking histories in the "Waiting room"

Nothing fancy ...
Just a heart that loves the Lord and desires to serve!

YES! Perfect size, shape and color!

Morning exercises ...
consignment store treasures, matching p.j. shorts ...
one found in PA the other in CR!

Friendly kitty snuck in and got stuck in our house over night! ...
unpleasant morning treasures ... unsolved mysteries ...
No, you can't keep him!

Chillin with the kids in La Cuenca ...
To much candy!

Driving their big truck ... best of buddies ...
life and laughter on the Mountain

 Science Fair Project ... Patience paid off ... 
Can't believe his talent ... couldn't leave his side!

 Sports Festival at Mount House School

Winning streak game night with Joseph ... 

Making Mama happy! ... 

I would have willingly lost every game 

just to spend this time with him!

Just Be

Happy Easter from these Mighty Men!

Lament, a passionate expression of grief or sorrow. The very word draws my mind downward, like an endless spiral into the deep darkness of ones soul ... the word causes me to cave into a pit of sadness, despair ... it's a heaviness that wraps chains around the neck of my very being, the core of who I am ... I scream stop! ... hope appears to be a distant glimmer ... no, wait, is there hope in lament? ... the anguished cry of bitter solitude, no one to listen ... words are pessimistic, turning the hearer's ears to the depths of this state ... tears flow, tears are nonexistent, the coldness of this cave prevents them ... the fist pounds in anger, the fist raises in contempt of the One who is silent, to the One who is holding ... There! There is the hope ... if one can see it, it's the faintest flash of light on the darkness of the horizon ... perhaps the one in lament needs the eyes of a Seer to see the light, to tip the chin toward hope ... Or, perhaps the Seer needs to let words be silent, let anger cease, let hope lie covered in the vale of lament ... To be the hand to hold, the eyes to see the depths of loss and not attempt to fix it ... to just be.  The Seer and the Lamenter, sitting side by side, hands clasped, souls crying to the heart of the Holder, finding peace in just being.

"But I don't want to talk about lament ... I just want everyone to be happy, not sad!" She tearfully lifted her exasperated hands ... offering a verse of hope, a promise, strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow ... She is learning ... I am learning.  Lament is a season to be celebrated, not fixed, not changed, not hurried on. 

Lament ... I am learning ... just be.

Life on the Mountain
Two full weeks compiled in one blog ... Two day El Nido Conference, He lifted me out of a pit and set my feet on a Rock ... Work team of 10 mighty men ... The backhoe came and a mighty work it did ... Extended family Ice cream treat ... successful first round of tests in school, so proud of you Jedidiah! ... washing, cleaning, packing and praying for our EMM retreat ... insert a week in Guatemala and El Salvador ... Flying internationally while living internationally ... And finally, finishing up these two weeks ... Arriving home to our refreshing mountain home in time to celebrate Easter weekend in Costa Rica!

Life in the Desert of Guatemala
Father safely carried us through airports, expired visas, border crossings and blessed us with an Angelic pair to chauffeur us from El Salvador to Guatemala and back again ... then to the airport at 4:00 a.m. ... It's what they do, no matter the hour! ... Finding peace in the chaos, we were fed through relationship with our Central American compatriots at our annual EMM retreat ... Consolation, desolation, lament, rest, connection and laughter ... 100 degrees, poolside, 26 kids, 19 adults, 8 children's ministry workers = 53 ... did I miss anyone?

Life in Quaint El Salvador
We tasted the beauty of El Salvador in less than 24 hours ... got "real" barber haircuts for $1.50 ... enjoyed Pupusas by candle light due to a torrential rain storm that knocked out the electric ... relished sweet fellowship with our Vida220 team ... attempted 5 hours of sleep under the peaceful whirl of church ceiling fans ... And, flew home!

Praises
His wings of protection through all the travel
Spending time with Hannah
Health, healing
Strong shoulders to cry on
The camaraderie of life over seas
Time to just be and hold hands

Prayers
Back to school, back to life
Patience to just be
Jedidiah - sadness, discouragement
Delynn and Gloria as they travel to Honduras to minister to our Vida220 teams during a week of training
El Nido Eye clinic, Team coming from the States to serve our Mama's and their families with free eye care
My swollen left foot - no reason!
Finances for VidaNet vidanetonline.org/friends-vidanet

Contemplating the work ... 

A week's accomplishment ...
walls, windows, roof completed, floor tiled!

El Nido Heredia Volunteers

Beautiful Feet International ministering to our Mama's

Worship in Guatemala ...
Jedidiah's beat flowed from a tank of refreshment!

15 year old Friends ... Belize, Guatemala and CR 

Sons #2 from Belize and CR

Jedidiah and Rebekah ...
reenacting the photo from last year ...
two peas in a pod ... they understand each other!

We're horses pulling a load!

Remembering these prayers as we walk through lament

My name is Adam ... "Hey, my name is Adam!" ...
experiencing a taxi-moto!

Luis ... feeling the love as he showed us around his beautiful El Salvador

Real haircuts in El Salvador!

Saying good bye in the light of the moon ... 

I serve a risen Savior! ...
One of the many church displays throughout CR

Happy Easter from Costa Rica ... 

Celebrating our risen Lord and Savior of the world!

I waited patiently for the Lord; he turned to me and heard my cry, He lifted me out of the slimy pit,

    out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand.

He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God.

Many will see and fear the Lord and put their trust in him.

Psalm 40:1-3