Treasure Hunting

He is a treasure! 

It may seem irrational and near impossible to give thanks in the midst of hardships and adversity.  However, there's this little grown up voice inside my head that reminds me ... For one who knows the intimacy of Father's love, one knows the blessings that follow from this simple act of obedience ... give thanks.

This week, I'm treasure Hunting.  I'm looking for the little sprigs of color in the barrenness, looking for the blooming bud in the parched soil, looking in the eyes and hearts of those around me to find the treasures Father is planting for me to discover!  Intentionally treasure hunting for Father's love and choosing gratitude in the midst of barrenness, softens my soul and starts to turn the corners of my mouth upward.  A grateful attitude make it easier to communicate with Father and everyone else ... However, why is it so dang hard to consistently practice thankfulness?

You see, no matter what life altering illness, loss, death or hurricane we see in front of us ... there is the most beautiful treasure of Father's presence in the midst of these.  "Give Me thanks regardless of your feelings and I give you joy regardless of your circumstances."  

Psalm 4:8 I will lie down and sleep in perfect peace, for You alone O Lord make me dwell in safety. This promise is one I've prayed over my boys, over myself, over anyone who desperately needs to sleep in peace.  What I didn't realize was the treasure that precedes this promise ... verse 7 YOU have filled my heart with greater joy ... for this simple reason I will lie down and sleep in peace!  This treasure of joy comes from a grateful heart. 

He is asking me to give thanks for the treasures I collect during the day and then to reflect on them as I lay my weary mind down to rest ... His end of the bargain, these treasures will blanket me with the coziest, sweetest sleep one could ever imagine.  Want to hunt treasures with me?    

Treasure hunting ... Giving thanks ... Blanketed with peace

 

Life on the Mountain

Traditional thanksgiving meal prep, lots of food shopping;  we are in our last week of educating at home for this year!!!  I can't believe we've been at this since March.  This also indicates I will now have time to grade Joseph's 10th grade work from the last 3 months!  This mental check list and this fog of grief leaves us feeling exhausted and overwhelmed however ... we are hunting for and finding His treasures!

Treasures

Adam being my shopping helper and randomly praying for people!

Jedidiah working at the base 

Joseph's laughter and memes he so freely shares with me

Micah's messages

Roast in the crockpot

Cashier commenting on "the precious picture" of our 4 MM on my cloth bag

Don Jose's friendship and caring attitude while I shop the aisles at Price Smart

Laughter with Staff

Smiles and snuggles from Declan and Kairo

Girl time at the mall

Lost photos recovered

Morning walks and kisses in the kitchen

Answered prayers

Neighbors to share life with ... they see and hear our humanness and love us regardless!

Prayers

Friends throughout Central Am. whose lives have been ravaged by 2 devastating hurricanes. 

Miraculous healing from covid for a dear friend and father figure

Physical, mental, emotional fortitude

Giving ourselves permission to grieve because it's normal, natural and necessary

Future direction for VidaNet

Open communication and time to share our hearts as we meet with VidaNet's board next week

Choosing to be grateful even when we don't feel like it

Sunday afternoon activities ... 
Football and a walk! 

A thankful tree

Thanksgiving prep ...
5 kilos of green beans and a blister to show for the work!  

Breakfast date with dad ... 
This ones smile is a treasure! 

Youth group game night ... they are each a treasure!

Final science project ... electrical connections ...
"Mom, of course it will work, it just has to lift the tree!"
And, of course it did! 

This boys ... he was determined to ride in this car even though he could barely get in and I only needed 2 things!
He was my BIG shopping helper this week! 

Sportin' their new Christmas glasses
Los tres amigos!

They were sent from Honduras to work with VidaNet ...
Now VidaNet is sending them back to Honduras
to help clean up their community.
They lost their house and everything in it.
We love you Antonio y Meli, may your joy from a grateful heart spread throughout your community!

Territory of My Heart

My favorite delivery boy ...

The soil is resting, seeking sabbath, being watered by tears, lying dormant, feeling useless and uncertain of its next steps yet hopeful that the seed buried there will one day sprout to life again. 

January of 2012, I remember it often. I was at a point of sadness so deep, my soul felt saturated with despair.   I grudgingly opened my Bible to Deuteronomy with an annoyed eye-roll thinking - "What life could He possibly speak from this book"?  My disgruntled action of  opening The Word, allowed His sweet presence to pour in through the open door and He began to water my scorched, barren heart ... Father spoke, regarding the territory of my heart.   "I am bringing you into a good land ... " Deut 8:7.   And, the seed of hope began to grow.  I've held onto that promise since then, specifically in times of uncertainty and when my soul was feeling battered ...

but recently, I've needed a reminder.

Over these last several months, despair had settled in my soul again and I felt like the fight in me was gone.  The mere thought of mentioning this despair/lack of fight, felt like a failure for who Father has called me to be and where He has called me to be.  "Put your hope in God ... Trust ... He is your strength ... He will never leave you..."  His promises screamed at my soul in a rescue attempt yet my soul felt like it couldn't even reach out for their life-saving properties.  As the feelings of failure pelted like rain and the waves crashed, my soul was sinking and sadness, was its welcome guest.  

He did not push, He did not discredited my pain.  He has simply been holding, being present, and waiting.  And when He sensed my grasping for life again, He spoke.  "I am with you and am watching over you wherever you go and ... I will bring you back to this land" Genesis 28:15.  And with that, the seed of hope laid deep in the depths is sprouting.

Maybe you need the reminder too?  In this year of seemingly utter chaos, despair and loss, when you feel surrounded by clouds or waves or whatever it is that is obscuring your vision of a good land ... His promise still stands, He desires to bring you into that good land.  It doesn't mean life will be easy, full of joy or merrily dancing through fields of wild flowers.  It simply means that one has hope, He is still on the throne and His promises are still true.  Why don't you ask Him for a glimpse of your promised land ... He can't wait to show it to you! 

He is good.  He desires good.  Bringing good into focus. 

Praise & Prayer

Father's patient love, faithful presence and everlasting arms that have held & carried us these months

Each of you, your prayers have been Father's presence to us

Friends and neighbors who listen to our hearts, invite us to coffee and cry with us

Health and healing

In spite of Covid restrictions, ministry at Casa VidaNet looks a bit different but continues

Central America as it recovers in the wake of hurricane Eta

To infuse our worry filled minds with the peace of Father's presence

Three more weeks of educating at home. God help us to finish well, it's been a very long school year.  

For schools to open next year ... please God!

Times of refreshing, we are weary 

We continue to grieve Delynn's death and the impact its had on the ministry

Help us be real in our grief and lead others to Jesus in our grief

To extend grace to those we spend 24x7 life with ... quarantine and restrictions continue to feel stifling. 

For our hearts to rest, return and remain in the land He has called us to

Life on the Mountain

It seems easiest to do this in photo form ... 

Youth group and Current events "Social Bubble" ...
minus a few.  

MOM, help! ... 
Cousin Jess Weaver to the rescue when
Mom's scissors are oceans away!

Jedidiah's 6th grade graduation pictures ... 
Of course we had to take a few mask free pictures!

Simulation exercise ...
So this is how you practice for an emergency via zoom! 

Father - Son worship team at Casa VidaNet

Joseph had a rough month ...
Four wisdom teeth cut out with local anesthesia ...
And random episodes of Hives lead to allergy testing!
(Below)

A rainy day at the beach ... 

Celebrating life ...
Happy 3rd Declan
Happy 16th Joseph
Happy 13th Jedidiah 
and ... 
Happy BIRTHday sweet baby Kairo!

My heart is full ...
I had the privilege of being part of an amazing team for this precious little ones birth at home! ...
Mama Jen loves you baby Kairo! 

Whoooo is watching me? ...
A visit to Zooave brought some laughter.

Look who's behind the wheel ...
Not yet legal in CR but thankful for friends with long driveways! 

"What I want to be when I grow up ..." 
Celebration of Dia del Nino

Three lost teeth in 10 days ...
 That's what being 7 is all about! 

Two boys baking in the kitchen ...
Our bellies have been filled with delicious treats!

Mohawks, masks & Sunday morning sweet bread ...
Quarantine life!

We miss Micah's presence in our home while he's in the States for his senior year ...
He enjoyed cutting wood at a youth work weekend!  

Date night with Adam ...
Soaking up Dad and Mom's attention and
enjoying the delicacy of Pizza Hut!  


I am still confident of this,
I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living!
Psalm 27:13

The Gain of Loss

Bringing school into focus!

There have been two opposing views warring in my mind this past month.  "Shall we accept good from God and not trouble?"  Job 2:10 As Father lead me to this once again, I wanted to grumble, I think I actually groaned out loud.  It's one thing to contemplate good vs trouble, but why does He have to remind me of this when I'm walking through the dark valley.  The expanse of my emotions these last 5 weeks are the culprit for these ponderings.  Delynn's death, Glenn's and Mark's death (2 mighty men of God I knew only by acquaintance) and Carlos's sickness.

Carlos Sanchez, a "young and healthy" fellow missionary here in CR and father of one of our boys best friends, suffered a massive stroke 10 days ago. For the first 48 hours we waited, worshiped and warred in the heavenlies for his complete healing and restoration to life.  Being completely honest, I believed God could heal him but I'm not sure I trusted He would heal him.  He did!  We received word that Carlos was conscious, eating and trying to talk.  We took a few moments to cry for joy, praise God and celebrate this bright spot in our seemingly walk through bleak places.  A week later, he is recuperating at home, truly a miracle!

Today as I contemplated Job 2:10 Father simply asked ... "Why didn't you rejoice at the death of these 3 aforementioned saints?"  What! Well, if I must state the obvious, (as if He didn't already know) we are grieving the huge loss of their physical presence here on earth.  I felt the rising of a 2 year old tantrum, "No, you can't make me rejoice in these deaths, you can't make me accept this as good, it's not!"

"These three deaths are as precious to Me as the recovery miracle Carlos is experiencing.  And, as difficult as it is, all are cause for rejoicing." 

My grief may be to raw and real, to completely embrace this sentiment as my own, however ... there is a peace that settles deep in my soul and the hint of a smile canvases my tear stained face ... In His goodness, that hint of a smile sows a seed of hope.  He gently whispers, "When surrounded with loss, one needs to look for the gain."   I may not yet embrace the gain completely, however, hope reminds me that  "they've run the race, they've fought the good fight, they've reached their eternal reward, this is cause for rejoicing!  As the tears flow, a song rises in my soul  ... "Yes I will, lift You high in the lowest valley, Yes I will, bless Your name, Oh, yes I will, sing for joy when my heart is heavy, All my days, oh yes I will."

But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.  My mouth will tell of your righteousness, of your salvation all day long, thought I know not it's measure.  

Psalm 71:14-15

Can you just imagine the huge celebration going on beyond the pearly gates?  I mean seriously, the eruption of praise and awestruck wonder as they enter the sweetest Presence we can only at present imagine!  As this picture plays out in my minds eye, I can see Delynn making Lancaster Co. connections with both these mighty men, partying with Jesus and feasting on the heavenliest chicherones one has ever sunk their teeth into!

Mourning in hope ... I know that my Redeemer lives ... Looking for the gain

Life on the Mountain
Restrictions are lifting slightly, we can now be out after 5:00 pm! ... Life feels very routine, we have a lot of family time ... Finding time alone is a precious commodity ... Ministry via zoom calls is the new normal, missing the personal contact ... El Nido babies continue to be born, a sweet gift in this time of uncertainty ... Giving ourselves time to rest and heal and nourishing our soul with His healing presence ... Organizing the questions, finding some answers, daily running to Father for wisdom ... Seeking His goodness, looking for the gain.

Praises
Carlos is on the road to recovery
Healing for our family
Micah settling into routine as the school year starts in PA
Friends who understand our hearts and want to listen
Morning walks
Celebrating 19 years of marriage this week
Fernando and Alexandra, their friendship, lawyer advice and how they care for us.
God's provision of interim directors where we need them (Steve Shank, Delmys, Manu & Liz)
We are surrounded by His goodness

Prayers
A week of exams for Jedi and Adam
Peaceful sleep for all of us, specifically Joseph
God's next steps for VidaNet
Joseph and Jedidiah's relationship
Safe, healthy delivery for Liz
God to open Meli's womb
God's direction for the Association of VidaNet and how it affects our residency process
Open our eyes Father to see Your goodness and the gain in this season of loss

"Jedi and Jedi"
The force is strong in this one!

This guy is a game changer in my day! 

Quality time with Mom ...
"Sure I'll help make cheesy potatoes!"

Feliz Dia de la Madre in Costa Rica ...
Sunshine flowers from Declan!

Dad date 2020 Style

"Hi Micah, we miss you!
Can Declan sleep in your bed?"

Yes, I solved it ...
Yes, he patiently showed me how ...
No, I'm not as fast as he is!

Micah's first day of his Senior year!
Yes, he wore shoes!

the dentist ... 

Just our friendly neighborhood sloth hanging
around for a photo opportunity! 

Speaking of His Goodness

All my life YOU have been faithful!

There has been a lot of internal processing.  As it comes out, at times there is a slow seeping, processing contemplatively, the layers of grief with Father or each other, tears slowly rolling down our checks.  Other times it's a tumbling, roaring waterfall, overflowing the puffy rims of our eyes, with a force so great we are unable to determine what path it will take or it's end.  The waves of grief.

I've wanted to blog, share life with you all and share the encouragement of Father's healing balm as it covers over my aching heart.  I felt like I was waiting for Father to show me something inspiring, you know that "A-Ha" thing that makes writing easy.  Well, I'm still waiting.  This morning as I rested in the wee morning hours, I felt a song rising in my heart and Father simply said,

"Speak of My goodness"

But Father ... I'm weary and thread bare, I just want to sleep, not think, not process.  Changing my focus, (a.k.a. climbing out of the pit) is just to exhausting.  I know it will not take away the grief, nor the loss, that's a journey we have to walk.  So, why can't I just believe in the goodness of God instead of proclaiming it?  I felt like Father was asking me to read back through the "catch phrases" I used at the end of each blog as if I were listening to His tender whisper speaking life to my weary soul. And then this song ... I count on one thing, The same God that never fails, Will not fail me now! ...

It's about refocusing my focus ... I am still confident of this, I will see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living." Psalm 27:13.  here goes ... phrases that capture His goodness.

Run to the Father. Trusting as I obey. Choose His perspective. Choosing to be grateful. Sweetest presence I know. Be still and know. Can you hear Him? He hears your voice. Childlike trust. Compelled by His love.  Aligning my crowns. Listening for His voice. Where is my attention? Soul set on solid ground. Echoing His words. In need of His grace!  Seeing through His eyes. We are more than them. Do you rest in this peace? I am living in the goodness of God!

"I do know that it won't be any picnic, for the Holy Spirit has let me know repeatedly and clearly that there are hard times and imprisonment ahead. But that matters little. What matters most to me is to finish what God started: the job the Master Jesus gave me of letting everyone I meet know all about this incredibly extravagant generosity of God." Acts 20:24 (msg)

Life on the Mountain
Micah flew to PA on Friday, where he'll complete his Senior year at Hinkletown MS, be duel enrolled in LBC jump start program and have an internship learning the trade of basic auto mechanics.  We are thrilled for this opportunity and so proud of him, but we miss him desperately!  We are still living with many restrictions, however we are trying to see them positively.   The pm curfew and not being allowed to drive on Saturday has given us more time as a family.  Educating at home has been challenging but has given me a better understanding of what they're learning.   Church with staff at Casa VidaNet has given us heart to heart connections, allowed for honest processing and a time to speak life to one another.  "Stay at Home" has given us the sweetest connections with our neighbors, we feel very loved by them.  Regrouping ministry wide has been a constant and daily, run to the Father.

Praises
Micah's safe, uneventful flight to the states. 
Feeling supported by VidaNet's board of directors. 
Friends to have sleepovers with.
Finances for VidaNet
Afternoon rain showers and coffee with friends
Sunny wash drying days
Each of you carrying us to Father through your prayers, love and words of encouragement
So much to be thankful for, speak them.

Prayers
Grieving the loss of: Delynn, Micah, Quarantine affecting ministry and life, Daryl's childhood home.
Gloria, Manuelito, Carmelinda & Vinny and their families.
Wisdom, grace and rest for staff and leadership.
Our health, common colds have come and gone, our bodies are weary.
I am currently experiencing a Lupus flare, thankful for medicine to help.
Finances for VidaNet.

Celebrating with Tortillas con queso y Natilla! ...
(Homemade tortillas with cheese and 'sour cream')

... and coffee of course! 

Extended birthday celebration ...
The gift of brownies, ice cream and peanut butter topping! 

Finding life with these dear friends ...
The coffee is always a little bit sweeter with them! 

The smile says it all! ...
  Yes it's big, no it's not his ...
Esteban, what have you started!?



And now ... Our week of goodbyes with Micah ... 

One more sleepover ... rather a 'stay-up-over' 

Youth group goodbye ...
Absolutely love they hearts and passion! 

Celebrating Micah's 1/2 birthday ...
He's officially 17 1/2 : ) 

One last ride for Declan ...

We made time for Mom's Fall Photo shoot ... 

Just hanging around waiting for mom to decide
where to take the pictures! 

Lunch date with Dad, Mom and tears ...

Well see how this year measures up! 

"After" hair cut ... of course Mama didn't want to cut the curls!
It'll grow again, Mom! 

And just like that ... he's out from under our roof!
The goodness of God is running after him!
Rest in God's favor, Victorious Leader!

But as for God,
His way is perfect, His word is flawless,
He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him!
Psalm 18:30