Secret Service Detail

Secret Service Detail ... 

Life feels similar yet vastly different.  I try to remember the rhythms of life before transition, before grief.  But that box has been closed and a new one opened.  I'm not sure what I expected from this transition back to life in CR.  Did I expect to be surrounded by the memories from the 'old box'?  I know there was joy, laughter, deep conversations, lots of learning, routine that gave freedom to just be with people, inspiration flowed easily, I could see the big picture, there was time to accomplish the details and there was peace knowing that God had us here for such a time as this.  Familiar faces were a part of everyday life, living in community.  New people would come but someone already knew them. Routine was present but expected to change.  Roles were established. There were full of life times and quiet times but they were never really quiet.  Our boys were young, we made most decisions for them, and bedtime was earlier.  

This side of grief ... if that is even possible.  There is a freshness to life that is bathed in thinking on things that are true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent, and praiseworthy.  The familiar faces seem to have a fresh glow, perhaps due to Father's peace, perhaps due to my renewed perspective on life.  Now, new faces are a clean slate on which we get to decide how to write the story.  Routine is being established once again, with the same expectation that it will change.  The full of life times now have more hands on deck, we don't carry the load alone.  The quiet times feel less quiet while surrounded by beautiful friends.  Our boys have the appearance of young men, make hard decisions for themselves with our advice and stay up later.  I know the characteristics that encompassed life before are still there waiting to be welcomed into new relationships, new experiences, new visions, and in time, they too will cause life to feel the normalcy that always was.  

Today we celebrate the 5 year anniversary of our move to CR and today we celebrate The One Constant that has remained the same "before, during and after" transition/grief.  He has gone before us, walks with us and hems us in as our rear guard.  Can you picture it? ... "Arm around me as I'm ushered forward, the other arm outstretched in front of me, the rear guard walking backward behind me to observe all the activity following me" ... He has been our own personal Secret Service detail!  The only difference, His eyes aren't masked by mirrored sunglasses!  

He gently reminds me ... "No matter the new, familiar, what ifs or even those ... spending time in my Hiding Place is of utmost importance for my thriving."  The tools I've been given, the encouraging words to spur me on, the hugs, the prayers and affirmation ... while these are good and intended to bring good, they are human theology and will fail me this side of eternity.  As His arm shields and guides me through the masses, His voice resonates deeply in my spirit ... "Eyes on Me, not on the masses, your thriving is in My Presence, you are designed to affect your circumstances instead of your circumstances affecting you."

My Constant ... Secret Service Detail ... Think on these things.  

Life on the Mountain

We've hugged Micah, shared an amazing Thanksgiving feast, driven our van legally on Sunday, cleaned and reorganized the house, set up the office, slept soundly most nights, awoken at 5:30 am most mornings as light dances through our room, taken time to reconnect with dear ones, reacclimated our tongue to speaking and our ear to hearing Spanish, we're 3 days into establishing a home school rhythm, morning walks and evening RINGS chats are happening, there is fresh life, spring growth, and forward movement as we step back into life that is similar yet vastly different.

Praises

Safe flight, no customs/immigration issues

Leadership team and staff who love Jesus

Sweetness in our times with Jesus

Open hearts, transparency

Friends waiting to share life with our boys

Seeing Micah

Prayers

Eyes on Him

Establishing new routines

Knowing our place in life with Micah and ministry

Open hearts, transparency

Our Roles, what is God's desire for us

Father - son bonding ...
Two days after arriving in CR, Jedi was polishing the clubs!

Flight delayed, free meal vouchers ...
Of course we chose Chic-Fil-A for our last meal! 

First of many cafecitos ... 

He transitioned from English to Spanish and never skipped a beat!

Thankful ... Living life to the full.

Reconnecting our hearts ... God is so good! 

Micah's team ... 

Jeremiah 31:3
I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving kindness. I will build you up again and you will be rebuilt.
Again you will take up your tambourines and go out to dance with the joyful! 

Adding the Forth R

Rest, Restoration for our Souls, and Renewed Vision.  

A display of HIS splendor ... 

Tomorrow, we add the forth R, Return!  Over the past
week I've sensed that God is gracing me with inspiration to write once again ... I've wanted to pen His heart over the last 48 hours, so much goodness and life to share.  However, this thing called time (a.k.a. too much to do before we fly) has kept these treasures from His heart swirling in my mind instead of on 'paper'.  How to translate these swirling thoughts into a summary of our last 3+ months of home leave. Simply said, God is good.  Digging deeper ...

We have rested, Psalm 23 - The Lord is our Shepherd, He has made us lie down in green pastures and He has lead us beside quiet waters.  Our time in the "lower lever of The Millers lake house", will forever be etched in our minds when we read Psalm 23.  

He has restored our souls, Philippians 4:8 - He has challenged us to think on "these things".  The depth at which we've experienced the restoration in our souls goes much deeper than these verses.  However, this feels like a good summary.  Restoration is physically evidenced on our faces and verbally heard in the word of our testimony.  

He has given us renewed vision, Isaiah 61 - As this scripture was read over us during a prayer time our spirits came alive!  As we listened to it again in the days following this prayer time, it continued to resonate deeply.  He has sent us to ... bind up, proclaim, release, comfort, provide, bestow.  He has called us ... oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord, for the display of His splendor.  

Deep Roots ... Evidence of His goodness ...  For His glory

Daryl sang this song in church on Sunday ... clearly evidence of Father's restoration. Listen at this link:  Won't Stop Now  

These words share out hearts ... 

I give You glory For all You've brought me through

And now I'm ready For whatever You want to do

I'm moving forward To follow after You

And now I'm ready For whatever You want to do

Your presence Is an open door

We want You Lord like never before Your presence

Is an open door So come now Lord, like never before

In every season Your grace has been enough

And I'm believing The best is yet to come

The cross before me My hope on things above

And in You Jesus The best is yet to come

Your presence Is an open door

We want You Lord like never before

Your presence Is an open door

So come now Lord, like never before

I know breakthrough is coming By faith I see a miracle

My God made me a promise And it won't stop now

One of many road trip adventures! 

the Peace of His Presence ... 

Lover of My Soul

Reasons to celebrate! 

He is the lover of MY soul.  I don't mean He, being the One my soul longs even faints for.  No, I mean ... HE is the lover of (He is in love with) MY soul ... We, being created for relationship, are the recipients of His incomprehensible, lavish love! 

Thank You sweet Jesus for another year to celebrate.  It's been a year of devastating loss, yet a year of unprecedented favor from You.  You've held us, walked with us, patted our backside to encourage us forward, collected our tears, rejoiced and cheered our victories, through the fire, through the darkest night, in the shine of the morning sun, in the peace of a perfectly painted sunset, YOU have been our faithful companion.  I have no doubt of your love, I have no question of Your faithfulness, You have been, are and always will be, my Sweet Jesus.  

Your tender gaze, your piercing conviction equally draw me into your timeless embrace.  As you whisper words of comfort and challenge, I know You only desire good for me.  By Your side, we leave the enemy in a tailspin. He tries to win my allegiance and in those moments of despair, as I throw my hands up in defeat, he thinks he is succeeding.  However, in those instants he is most defeated.  As I turn my gaze toward You and whisper Your name, You have only to raise an eyebrow in challenge to show him who really has the victory in my life!  

The valley has been deep, the fire has been hot, the night has been the darkest of dark and the tears have been my constant make-up.  Yet today, on the one year anniversary of death, I stand in the beauty of Your presence and celebrate the victory of another year of LIFE!  (I know he would not want me to grieve, he would want me to celebrate!)  The beautiful life You designed just for me 49 years ago is such a precious gift!  I've grumbled and I've complained, kicked the dust and tantrum thrown.  You've listened, held, redirected my thoughts and uplifted my gaze.  Why?  Because YOU are the lover of MY soul!  

Thank you for creating me for relationship with You, thank you for calling me Hope, thank you for seeing me clothed in a robe of righteousness and radiant in Your perfect love, thank you for being my ever faithful, constant companion and thank you for a reason to celebrate his life and mine!

Together, in heaven and on earth, we have the privilege of ... 

"being those who have learned to acclaim YOU, 

who walk in the light of YOUR presence!"

Psalm 89:15

LIFE on the Mountain

Vida Missions is coming to a close this week.  The presence of these teams have brought so much life, tiredness, joy and seeing mountains moved to Casa VidaNet!  Late nights, early mornings, counting and recounting  numbers, finances, portions, transportation options, and continuing to count the cost of giving our lives to The Lover of OUR souls.  We've been stretched far beyond our comfort zones, deepened relationships and created new ones, reflected once again on why we're here, and ... I sense HE is pleased and he would be proud (in the humblest of ways) of each one of us. "All my life You have been faithful, all my life You have been so so good, with every breath that I'm able, I will sing of the goodness of God!" 

Praises

God's faithful presence throughout Vida Missions

Negative covid tests 

A staff who desire to pursue God and share His presence

Jump center reopened!

The Nofzigers presence in VidaNet

Finances for us personally and for VidaNet

We have a vehicle for home leave

A year of LIFE

Prayers

Details for our upcoming home leave

Wisdom for our boys schooling

Inner healing during our home leave

People in place at VidaNet to carry on our roles 

All the financial and legal details Daryl is working on within VidaNet

Practicing our new family rhythms: choosing thanksgiving

"Good God Almighty, I hope You'll find me, praising Your name no matter what comes!"

Home safe and sound with hugs to share!

What time is it and ...
how many tortillas do we have to make?

Celebrating Caribbean theme night ...
and our favorite meal!

Rice and Beans and Patacones ...
This picture doesn't do justice to the size of these pots ...
70 pieces of chicken!

Which one of these is not like the other ones? : ) 

My hair is going to be long enough! 

We love sharing life with these teams and
love the life they bring to Casa VidaNet! 

Micah's friend was really Adam's friend ... 
Adam's bucket was filled and overflowing
with this one's friendship! 

CR, OH and PA meet for cheesesteaks in Phillie!

Finally Jump Center reopened! 
Sunday Sabbath turned into a ...
sweat covered, laughter filled, fun loving adventure with friends!

yes, we all did!

When your son grows too tall for his pants and they're too cool to give away ...
Why not let Mom wear them proudly!

He created us for each other because He loves US ...
HE is the lover of OUR souls! 

Salgate ... Go out!

Celebrating Dad!

"You are not done here yet!"  I heard it as clear as the neighbors boom-booming base that has interrupted my Sabbath.  I actually heard it twice.  The first night I questioned if it was for me and the next night, there was not doubt, He was speaking to me.  

But Father, I am weary, I don't care if "we're not done here" I can't do one more thing!  I need a reset.  I need a refocus.  I need a rest ... the kind My Cave, (The Cave) from nearly 2 years ago, provided for me.  

As I sat dwelling on the solitude of My cave, filling my spirit with praise music from a pastor friend, the worship ended and he started speaking about the miracles Elijah saw/preformed in 1Kings.  I was ready to forward past the sermon to the next set of songs when I realized ... this is the story I just read to Adam AND, he may be referencing the passage about "MY" cave!  Yup ... he did.  

In summary ... Elijah saw 'all these miracles' then he fled in fear of Jezebel and hid in a cave!  He even cried out to God, "Let me die!" (aka take me away from all this, I'm done!).  God's response ... Imagine the annoyed mother tone one might take when discovering your child is hiding in the closet eating a whole bag of peanut butter cups.  "What are you doing here Elijah?!"  Blah blah, blah blah, blah blah, blah blah (hiding in fear and worry after I saw Your miracles) Elijah whined.  Father simply said, "Go out! ... Go out and stand on the mountain in the Presence of God!" 

Then, He tenderly whispered to my spirit, "This doesn't mean do anything except to be in My Presence ... you've seen miracles, you've felt my hand upon you, now leave this desert of anxious worry and despair, step out of the comfort of the cave and daily make the decision to be in My Presence."  You see, in His goodness, He wants to restore me/us because ... 'we're not done here yet'.   Rest is coming, but more importantly, His Presence is here.  Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, (not the problems), delight in, commit to and be still in His Presence. 

"Good God Almighty, I hope You'll find me praising Your name no matter what comes!" 

Life on the Mountain

Feeling the cloud starting to lift ... Lots to celebrate: Dad's day, 8 years of life with Adam and 9 years of eternal life for Jedidiah ... Teaching Adam what his name "Bringer of Light" means and being challenged to do the same ... A week of exams ending in 2 weeks of vacation feeling hopeful for the return of in present classes ... Lots of Vida Missions activity, airport runs and sickness.  Thankful for 12 negative Covid tests! ... Half of our 6 are in the states, looking forward to the return of 2 of them! ... Birthday parties, play dates and sharing life with our community ... Choosing thankfulness brings light and focuses us on being in His presence.   

Praise

Sisters who care and desire healing with us

Seeing light in Adam's soul

Jedidiah's companionship

I boldly disposed of 4 spiders and a large centipede in the span of 24 hours ... missing my mighty men! 

A sabbath retreat

God ordained meeting, walls coming down

Safe flights and Daryl's time with our two oldest MM in the States

Prayer

Home leave housing and timing 

School options for our boys - virtual school is not working well

Readjusting to be a family of 5

Renewed vision

Inner healing from a year of grief, we are weary

God to ordain our steps 

Choose joy and gratitude

Go out in His Presence! 

Yes he ate it all ...
 Yes it was his supper ...
and Yes, he did sleep that night!

Kai is happy that 'Uncle Daryl' finally held him : ) 

Celebrating our Bringer of Light! 

"YES Mom, please let him smash my face in the cake?!"

Precious friends to help Adam celebrate ...
His faithfulness, NEVER runs out!

"I could get used to this!"

God's favor is on this one ...
Thankful for summer employment ...

Tee time with the guys ...
My heart is happy! 

How many hours did they spend here? ...
Lego creativity knows no bounds of time!

All creatures great and ...
thankful this one is small! 

Psalm 118:24 

This is the day the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad.

Little Black Dress

His faithfulness ...

Every gal needs one.  I'm not talking the simple/elegant cocktail dress that is reserved for "that" occasion . I mean a versatile, "can dress me up or wear me to a summer picnic" little number.  I've had a few in my lifetime and unashamedly, I can very specifically remember each one ... I know, forehead slap, right ... But that's just how important this particular material possession has been to me!  

Each one, for all intended purposes, needed to serve well through: weight gain or loss, life-bearing belly present or deflating, summer heat or sweater accompanied winter, be perfectly paired with flip flops or boots, and could be adorned with dangly antique gold, simple pearls, or colorful stones depending on my current mood.  Finding the absolute perfect little black dress was like finding treasure of pure gold.  Seriously, there was such elation upon finding each of these regal garments over my lifetime.  Recently, I laid to rest the current token one without having a replacement in hand.  It had far surpassed its years of glory and its $6.99 price tag had served my earthly physique well ... probably 2 years to many!

Least you be concerned with my focus on said earthly treasures, rest assured, He's laughing with me at this post.  You see, HE knows what my heart longs, even faints, for.  While this earthen treasure has captured my eye, I sensed this 'symbol' was a reminder of His faithfulness. Seriously, while He's asking me to let Him hold all the seemingly monstrous mountains of trouble, hardship, sadness and strife, He cares enough to place this unexpected treasure along the road in my valley.  While serving Him, as I discovered said treasure, a giggle of excitement erupted from my heart.  His simple reminder came as a tender whisper ... "My child, you need to laugh again.  Don't miss the joy of My Presence by carrying the weight of the world on your shoulders."

For some, reminders of His faithfulness comes in the form of a heart shaped rock, a cross shaped stick, a flower hidden beneath the dead twigs, an obedient choice from ones cherub or a perfectly painted sunset.  And now, for those who are reading this and laughing with me, reminders of His faithfulness may just come in the form of a little black dress.  

The following morning, His promise adorned my soul much better than said treasure adorned my body ... Proverbs 31:25 "She is clothed with strength and dignity (and a little black dress), she can laugh at the days to come."  He knows this promise is the desire of my heart, it's how HE created me ... I just needed the reminder.  I'm curious, how is He reminding you of His faithfulness? 

Green in my soul ... Black dress on my body ... Father, help me laugh again! 

Life on the Mountain

Micah was home for 3 weeks and returned to PA to graduate from high school.  Joseph is stateside for a month and has his driving permit.  Jedidiah is cooking supper weekly and more if I have the patience to let him invade the kitchen.  Adam will be 8 in a few days and is loving his adventures with Gabe! Daryl and I are finding treasures that remind us of Father's faithfulness while walking through the valley ... (Look up, remember!).  We're in the midst of hosting our 2nd Vida Missions team and feel blessed to receive their energy and joy for life!  May brought an all time high of Covid cases here and driving restrictions are implemented again.  Lots to learn as we choose to reflect on His faithfulness instead of donning the weight of the world.  And, learning to laugh again ...

Praises

His faithfulness NEVER runs out

Heartfelt communication with my soulmate

Glimpses of renewed vision

His gentle reminder, "we're not finished here yet." 

Lives impacted through teaching and drama

Prayers

Home leave housing and timing 

School options for our boys - virtual school is not working well

Renewed vision

Inner healing from a year of grief, we are weary

God to ordain our steps 

Choose joy and gratitude

Stand tall Mighty Men! 

Still in shock ...
wishing I could experience this first hand!

MTO breakfast!

The longest his hair has ever been ...
6 months and counting! 

Put that boy to work ...
He willingly said yes to scrubbing a greasy floor! 

Vida Missions bringing us life and laughter

Taking us to the foot of the cross ... 

Partners in adventure ...
water boy companions!

Micah's graduation gift ...
Joseph was along to celebrate ...
Rocket launch, lots of Space to explore, Florida heat ...
Young at heart grandparents! 

Left over night has never looked so plentiful ...
Missing our two oldest Mighty Men! 

Come to Me all who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest 

... rest for your souls as you focus on My faithfulness! 

Look Up

I have a stiff neck.  The left side of my neck has been affected for "?" too long.  I could use a good,

Taking time to Look Up ... 

chiropractic manipulation!  My tense shoulders and sore neck too often give way to a migraine.  I feel the knot and don't remember it not hurting.  This annoyance has caused me to realize that the only place my neck feels "normal", no pain, is looking down while reading, writing, doing food prep or at my phone.  Wow! ... 

While nestled in my hiding place, assessing the pain, I looked high above - up.  I realized how out of practice my neck felt in this position.  Like a gentle breeze, I felt the tender tip of my chin and "look up" whispered in my spirit.  The lesson ensued ... "Stop looking down, around, or elsewhere and focus your gaze upward.   Look up, towards Me, your Trustworthy Provider, Life Sustainer, The One who sees, cares and knows what He's doing.  Look up, breath deep, bask in My presence."  I'm quite certain, if I can put into practice this daily, habit forming process, I will soon have the dorsal muscles of my neck in tip top, upward looking shape!  

Loss could be my theme since March 2020.  However, I'm choosing trust.  Loss indicates a pruning, purging, and plucking that is characteristically for my benefit.  As I begin stretching my neck upward (signifying trust), I envision looking above the cloud covered plateau of my foggy headed, focused on worry, mindset.  Assuredly, things are radiantly clear, there's a freshness, and I can breath!   

Therefore, fix your thoughts on Jesus.  

Hebrews 3:1

Life on the Mountain and Praises

Most exciting news, we are setting a table of six once again!  Micah is home for 3 weeks and we are relishing every minute we have with him! ... Covid is rearing it's ugly head in CR once again and we are living under restrictions for the month of May.  SO thankful school will remain in person 3 days a week in spite of these restrictions ... Thankful to welcome the Nofziger family, share the leadership load and meet in person with this amazing leadership team ... they have hit the ground running! ... We've had some hard good byes and the tears flow easily thinking of them ... Celebrating lots of April/May birthdays at Casa VidaNet ... Youth group has regrouped, feeling blessed they have started up again! ... God's provision of an interim Vida Missions director, thankful for obedient hearts! ... Preparing Casa VidaNet for a wedding that needed to be reduced to 1/3 of the original guest list.  Thankful we can still celebrate! ... The gift of Jon and Dawn, receiving date nights, beach weekends, a safe place to process and unload our burdens and their insight and Godly wisdom ... Sun filled mornings, afternoon rain showers and exercising my upward gaze. 

Prayers

Planning for Vida Missions teams in the midst of Covid

Legal issues, many bullet points under this one

Vida220, God's call for the students, leaders, and a director

This weekends weddings

God leading for an intercessory team for VidaNet

God, help us Look Up!

The deliciousness of Donde Adrian ...
Our new favorite burger joint!  

The Nofziger family ...
 Loved, treasured and we can't thank God enough for them!

Celebrating this life because
Jesus cleaned out his heart and lives there!

Paperwork completely submitted for residency ...
now we wait for the official documents! 

Proud owner of this treasure! 

Celebrating another year of life ...
Yup, it's Auntie Anne's in Costa Rica! 

"No, Jesus can't die!  He already did and then rose again! 
Let me show you where" ...
Adam's bible study!

Micah's graduation capstone speech ...
thankful for family to surround him! 

In his happy place ... 

Going to the beach in more ways than one ...

Refreshing their souls ...

Mom's helper reward ... He never asks! 

My Mama's heart is full ... 

Isaiah 41:13 

"For I am the Lord, your God, who takes hold of your right hand and says to you; Do not fear, I will help you!"