Being Present

Happy 49th Dad!

"Wait a minute, let me finish my thought" ... "I just need a minute to respond to this text" ... finger held up in silence to halt the approaching interruption ... "Can't you see, I'm talking to someone?" ...  I look at the pile of cords tangled like last years Christmas lights, each ones ending destination vies for my attention. The screen glares at me causing my eyes to squint, strain and contemplate my response. An emoji response to a text, directions, a recipe, a verse, taking a picture, sending a picture, looking up a translation, sending a voice text, googling an answer to a random or nagging question ... the screen has the answer! My thumbs are stiff, (perhaps my joint issues) perhaps the screens fault. My cervical spine is misshapen from my downward gazing, my eyes strained and the info to my brain jumbled. If I can't stand the distraction why is it so tempting? 

I set a goal the beginning of the year. To only answer necessary texts after 6:00 pm. If a response can wait until tomorrow, it should. I want to be present in the moment. I want to look at those talking to me, listen intently and respond patiently.  This goal was a valiant effort to be more present when family is present. It's been challenging and I've often forgot. In a world full of distractions these moments of being present are life giving to ones soul. My desire to be present equates to those moments when His gaze is for me. You know those moments when chaos and distractions surround you, everyone wants a response now, your attention is fixed on the screen as you answer without looking up and all of a sudden ... Someone calls your name in a way that causes you to stop, taking your breath away, and causing you look up to see His gaze drawing you in.  That's it, that's the kind of being present I want to emit. To be the hands, feet, ears and eyes of Jesus to a world that is hungry for life giving attention. To be the kind answer that turns away wrath, to be the laugh that eases the the embarrassment of mispronunciation, to be the joy when sadness attempts to overwhelm, to be the hope when the pit seems deep ... to be present reflecting Him.

 Being present ... Laying down my device ... Reflecting His gaze 

Life on the Mountain
Celebrating another year of life with my soulmate and bed warmer, Happy 49th to my dream come true! ... Finding freedom to share our hearts as we receive counsel from Mimi ... Sending Micah and Joseph off to the jungle for 3 days with the youth group, so much life and stories to share ... Life is SO different with only two mighty men under our roof ... Field trip x 2 ... The blessing of a morning alone in the house and the feeling that I needed a whole day ... Sharing life with the women of El Nido on their turf in La Cuenca ... Friday night supper at the Hoovers, Pork BBQ for a crowd. The joys of living in community ... Soccer Saturday started for Adam ... School projects, hair cuts, counselor appointment, reading, errands and the challenge of deciding on a family movie night. Here's to the hope of practicing being present ...

Praises
Celebrating life
Safe delivery of another El Nido baby
Ministry trip to the jungle with youth
Connections
Gift of trained counselors who care

Prayers
To be present
Slow to speak, quick to listen
Best friend for Jedidiah
Summer plans for Micah participating in Go Honduras
To take time for each other
Holy Spirit empowered change from the inside out

Happy Birthday tradition for Daryl ...
The gift of this Quickie Sticky Recipe has changed my life! ... 

Celebrating April Birthday's ...
#22, 26, 20, 47, 49

At least the Coke was sugar free! ...
Community living, thanks uncle Vinny!

Of course he's bored shopping with Mom ...
"Cone of shame"

Hmmm ... He's such a ham! 

Heading to the Jungle ...
Bug spray and boots required

Sharon Guadelupe ... 2 days old ...
My heart is full!

Eating a Candy cane wearing Candy cane glasses ...

Practicing his drills and skills

Which one of these is not like the other ones? ...
He loved every minute of it!

Free golf clubs ... Sort of a belated birthday gift!

"Let Your presence overtake my heart" ...
Show me Lord, how to be present to those Your heart loves!

Surrounded

Mini Golf ... finding life in normalcy

Even when I come away with Him, I'm surrounded ... my blanket and bible, cobwebs and coffee, little boy banter and birds, closets full and wish lists long ... Surrounded.  What does it mean and how does it feel to be truly alone and only surrounded by the sweetness of His presence? You know what I'm talking about ... those moments when nothing else matters, my mind is at rest, my to do list no longer vies for my attention and the coffee in hand has never tasted so rich and full. Oh I've known these moments. I've even tasted the sweetness of them, basked in the fragrance of them and relished in the sacredness of heaven touching my soul on earth. These moments are priceless, hidden treasures I return to often. However what I'm pondering is, how? How does one live in an abiding spirit moment by moment? What does it look like to abide constantly so that these moments are not just ... moments? To be so intimately connected with the Creator of my soul while being surrounded by the aforementioned, earthly 'blessings' ... how?

My human misconceptions bind in holy matrimony the words, missionary and continual abiding, leaving me in a heap of condemned rubble ... It feels like wishful thinking as the humanness of my harsh words stare me down daring me to declare my soul abides continually in Him ... As His chosen, called, beloved princess shouldn't my mind be fixed on things above instead of giving allowance to the nagging of anger, frustration, fear, stress, anxiety and my way? I am created for the constant abiding with His spirit that allows me to laugh at the days to come and see my worries blow away like dandelion seeds in the wind. Why is it so incredibly hard then to be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, to speak life-giving words instead of my own earthly thoughts? ... Why is it so challenging to continually abide?

In the midst of my pondering and confession of said missionary struggles, I've discovered this morsel dished up at the banqueting table He has set for me ... Psalm 32:7 You are my hiding place. You will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance. Say it with me ... You are my hiding place! And, can you hear them? His songs of deliverance singing over you? It's truly a sweet melody that sets my spirit free from the guilt and condemnation of my humanness. While surrounded with earthly things below, my spirit can continually abide with Him in heavenly places ... I declare it and make the choice to hide my soul in His promises! I want to know YOU, let Your spirit overwhelm me, let Your presence overtake my heart ...

Surrounded with things ... Abiding with Him ... Finding my Hiding Place

Life on the Mountain
Sickness and health ... School projects and Co-op writing class ... Late night and early morning airport runs ... Finger licking temptation as we made chocolate covered Peanut butter and Coconut cream eggs ... Discovering Mini golf in CR, 40 minutes from our house! ... Retreating and finding life in the desert of Guatemala with soulmates ... The adventure of riding 4 hours in the back of a pick-up through the heat of Guatemala and the gift of retreating to the air conditioned cab ... Abiding in His presence and finding life in The Vine.

Praises
He knows the desires of my heart
His provision for eternal life
The sweetness of His presence with fellow warriors at our EMM retreat in Guatemala
Free massage for missionary Mamas
Safe, uneventful travel to and from Guatemala
Improving communication, Father is answering prayers!
Honduran couple listening to Father's voice for their future

Prayers
Kevin from Guatemala, Father speak to his heart
Soulmate for Jedidiah
Choose to put each other first, slow to speak, slow to become angry and quick to listen
Housing for our home leave next fall ... We need a place to rest our heads in PA for 3 months.
Continued connections with El Nido Mamas
Micah, raising funds for Go Honduras and decisions for future
Learning how to continually abide
I want to know You, let Your spirit overwhelm me, let Your presence overtake my heart ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V7C2cQfJdo4

... Picture overload! A lot of life happened in these two weeks! ...

"Real" haircuts! ...
you know, as opposed to the "fake" ones mom does for him! 

School project ... what chores do you do at home?

Nope, this pet is too big! 

Well ... I guess that's a better size pet!  

He has my heart ... she shares her's

Shaping peanut butter eggs ...
"please stop licking your fingers!" ... the temptation is real!

Pick-up truck taxi ...
of course there was room for more! ...
this picture doesn't do it justice

Acting out "what's in the bag" ... Creativity at it's best!

Annual picture ...
they've got the same spark and adventure for life!

Micah and Micah ...
Obviously one is more thrilled at this than the other!

Guatemala tradition ... remembering The Giver of life

Of course we needed a selfie!

"Mama, is he a real robot?"

Finding treasures ...
Wendy's fries and Frostys in Guatemala!

And Dunkin' Donuts too!!!

The perks to being an adorable gringo who speaks Spanish ...
Of course you can see the Cockpit! 

What do you do with free shaving cream? ...
Make slime of course ...
keep it away from your hair and the carpet!

Happy Easter ...
Celebrating His life ... Surrounded by life ...
Learning to abide ...

Banqueting Table

Picnic at the property

El Nido Heredia is closing. There's no sugar-coating this statement. I've cried my tears, pleaded with God, talked and processed the ramblings of my mind with Gloria and cried more tears. Our director resigned in December, we prayed and asked Father to provide another. However in the end, it felt like Father was directing us to close this center.  I grieve this loss but have hope that His work through this program has not ended and peace that He is in this process.

These women have welcomed me into their lives, shared their joys and cautiously their sorrows. They have loved me through my transition to life in CR through laughter and language learning. They've opened their doors to me and their hearts as well.  I may not understand completely the gravity of their life stories but we've found common ground in El Nido and our hearts have bonded.

In some ways it feels like sending my teenager off to college. We've shared life over the last 18 months and learned how to do life together. There's been teaching, training, listening, counseling, prayers and tears and the time has come to launch them out of The Nest.  I don't send them out empty handed, they've been girded with Promises from The Word and insight on parenting. I'm grateful for the feeling that we've finished well! 

Father has given me this picture from Psalm 23 ... "He prepares a table before me in the presence of my enemies ... surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life." As long as we are at His table, feasting on His promises, those old enemies will prowl around but loose their hold! Sharing this picture with each of them, feels like a sending in which I now need to trust His presence in their lives!

Sitting at His table ... His promises are true ... Trust

Life on the Mountain
Finding life as we share our hearts ... Exploring the beauty of waterfalls in CR ... A weekend visit bringing life ... learning the discipline of studying for exams ... making time to scrapbook ... Celebrating Adam's spiritual b'day ... New life of baptism ... Tears at the foot of the cross as we acted out the Crucifixion play ... Micah cutting grass and helping at the Matamoras property ... Welcoming a team and sending them off to Upala ... Star Wars movie marathon ... Road trip to Limon and late night airport runs ... Feeling Father's presence through Val ...  Feasting at His table.

Praises
Finishing well with El Nido
Self-care: counseling sessions, scrap booking, sitting at the park
Burger King, family night
We had rain yesterday
Heart connections with neighbors
Taking time for each other

Prayers
Laura, healing from an assault
Full time, permanent cook for Casa VidaNet
The women of El Nido
Healing from stomach virus
EMM retreat in Guatemala, traveling 13-19
Housing for our home leave next fall
Conflict in relationships
Parenting, marriage and communication

A new adventure ... Costa Rica beauty ...
swimming at the base of the falls!

The remnants of a previous inhabitant ...
Ummm no, I don't want to see it!

More beauty ... 

Prayer of blessing after taking the new believers class ... 

The crucifixion ... His dream come true,
he could finally be a soldier! 

Two soldiers, a High Priest and Pilates water dish holder ...
Of course Joseph was behind the scenes! 

Weekend guests ... the gift of sharing life! 

His first spiritual birthday ...
"It means Jesus cleaned out my heart!" 

Testing out the third floor of the new Burger King! ...
A reward for studying hard during his exam week. 

Menn. Conference in Costa Rica ...
Micah read the scripture in English ...
He didn't sound a bit nervous!

Story time with "Uncle Jon" ... 

Strawberry shortcake for breakfast ...
Dessert was to long of a wait ...
Fruit and milk, of course it's ok for breakfast!