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| Where are you focusing? |
I have restarted this blog. Mentally, a few dozen times in the wee hours of daybreak. Physically, only twice. It's reshaping gives testimony of bringing my soul into focus! The words portraying the struggle of my heart felt dreary, sad and anxiously overwhelmed ... NOT where I want this year of focus to start! We all have that thorn in our flesh, giant to slay, battle to victoriously stand in, right? It was clear I needed clarity before I spoke from my heart. The barrage of things Father has been speaking to my soul in these last three weeks have felt life giving however, haphazard at best. I was having a hard time believing in the inner beauty He has created in me because my gaze was outward. This morning, in His faithful way, He brought it all into focus. And so, I'll start with this ...
"God, I look to You, I won't be overwhelmed, Give me vision to see things like You do, God I look to You, You're where my help comes from, Give me wisdom, You know just what to do ..."
I couldn't see. No matter how much squinting and changing angles I did, there wasn't enough back light to see the dark figure reflected before me that I so desperately wanted to see less of. The glowing lights before me, dared my eyes to focus on the physical Me I was trying to hide. Why do I torture myself and try to focus? My black outer garments couldn't hide the ugliness I felt inside. In frustration, I switched off the light and stepped out the door into the public eye feeling overwhelmed and defeated with the changes in my body. I am convinced He didn't want me to see ... He looked into the tear filled eyes of my soul and gently whispered, "Your outward actions and focus are affecting your inner beauty."
I've asked Father for a word this year ... So I'm a little late on the bandwagon, but I really wanted a focus this year. And so, He gave me the word, FOCUS. I sort of laughed when I heard it. Was He trying to make a pun or was this really
MY word for 2020? Before I finished my chuckle, I knew in my spirit that Father was asking me to refocus my focus.
Through our constantly changing daily routine of home leave and "being on tour" my soul had been clinging to the simplicity of "Jesus ... Seeking first HIS kingdom ... finding Sabbath rest in the faithfulness of His presence." However, this giant had emerged from the shadows, obscuring my view and distracting my focus. You know, those external things, "what shall I eat, drink, wear or worry about." Humbling as this is to admit, I trust you see Father's faithful love. His tender voice whispered ...
your external focus (the giant) is gravely affecting your internal passions. Looking outward at all that "could possibly happen" has tainted the inner beauty that passionately burns in love for my King.
There's no formula to work through, no new trend to make it all work out, no ABC or 123 that can fling the stones to bring defeat. It's the sacred simplicity of running into His arms and receiving the command/promise/word of encouragement He is speaking to my soul ...
1 Peter 3:4 Instead, your beauty is that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. There is no beauty if my focus is me, anxious thoughts and fear of the future. If my focus is Jesus, His Kingdom and His passions, those are the words, actions and life that will be displayed. What external focus might be shadowing your inner beauty? ...
Refocusing my focus ... Passionately in love ... To see things like YOU do
Prayer & Praise
We are flying home to Costa Rica on Friday January 31st. THANK YOU for walking this journey with us! We are eternally grateful for Father's faithfulness and your prayer covering through our home leave, surgeries, transition and resettling back into ministry in Costa Rica.
Life in Lancaster Co.
There's been a lot of reconnecting, refocusing, refreshing and rest since we last shared blog life ... And, here is a month's worth of pictures to prove it!
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| Garbage truck fire at the neighbors ... dumped to cool off on "our" property! Micah helped Mr. High 'reload' it into a dumpster a few days later. |
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Sharing Christmas with our families ...
the perfect gift from Father |
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| Hours of finger snapin' laughter with Crokinole ... |
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| Mixing our worlds of Costa Rica and PA with a visit from The Matamoras Family |
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| Soul care and lots of being fruitful and multiplying! |
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| Hannah makes anything fun ... especially Bowling and ice cream! |
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Maiden voyage without Mom or Dad ...
Micah is an official driver! |
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Ringing in the New Year, sharing ice cream with half our crew ...
Youth group party for M & J |
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"We still fit on our little chairs!" ...
The excitement of discovering treasures as we moved our earthly possessions |
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| These two are ALL boy! |
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| Dad had fun keeping up with these three on the slopes ... |
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| Sharing hearts and meeting the two new cherubs added to this dear sister's family since we left ... |
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| Pizza with Grandpa ... Of course there were NO leftovers! |
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"Just one picture" ...
To compare to the fall tree picture when we arrived in PA! |
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Farm Show excitement with this little man ...
Of course he wanted to drink his own milkshake! |
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Ohio, Costa Rica heart connections ...
Catching up on life in Pennsylvania! |
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| Of course Mimi still has sweaters from when her and Pop-pop were dating! |
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| Hershey Chocolate World ... isn't that what tourists do?! |
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| Boys making gagging sounds ... : ) |
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Life long friends ...
Just like old times, except there were not 15 kids to interrupt us! |
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They were begging ALL morning to shovel snow ...
"You have to wait until there's enough to shovel!" |
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| There was even enough to plow! |
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Touring Martin Guitar Factory ...
The gift of a day to share life with these soulmates! |
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Hot Chocolate always tastes better with
Marshmallows and friends! |
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"Mom, please don't put this in your blog" ...
Of course I will! |
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National Air and Space Museum ...
The highlight of our extra three weeks! |
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| "JEDI" ... Mailbox design commemorating Star Wars anniversary! |
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| Star Student ... line leader ... Feeling loved by Mrs Martin! |
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Did not see this one coming! ... Our first College visit ...
Their future is so bright! |
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Mimi needs my help washing dishes ...
I'm almost as tall as her! |
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| Their friendship has stood the test of time and distance ... Thankful the good byes were not as tearful this time! |
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"Mi casa es su casa" ...
A very special play date for Adam at "our" house. |
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Landlords and Employers ...
but most importantly, neighbors and friends! SO blessed by this dear family who have showered us with Father's love! |
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"God, I look to You, I won't be overwhelmed, Give me vision to see things like You do, God I look to You, You're where my help comes from, Give me wisdom, You know just what to do ..."
Bethel Music ... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CR5IoWH9OiI |
