Rice and Beans of Life: The Gain of Loss

Bringing school into focus!

There have been two opposing views warring in my mind this past month. "Shall we accept good from God and not trouble?" Job 2:10 As Father lead me to this once again, I wanted to grumble, I think I actually groaned out loud. It's one thing to contemplate good vs trouble, but why does He have to remind me of this when I'm walking through the dark valley. The expanse of my emotions these last 5 weeks are the culprit for these ponderings. Delynn's death, Glenn's and Mark's death (2 mighty men of God I knew only by acquaintance) and Carlos's sickness.

Carlos Sanchez, a "young and healthy" fellow missionary here in CR and father of one of our boys best friends, suffered a massive stroke 10 days ago. For the first 48 hours we waited, worshiped and warred in the heavenlies for his complete healing and restoration to life. Being completely honest, I believed God could heal him but I'm not sure I trusted He would heal him. He did! We received word that Carlos was conscious, eating and trying to talk. We took a few moments to cry for joy, praise God and celebrate this bright spot in our seemingly walk through bleak places. A week later, he is recuperating at home, truly a miracle!

Today as I contemplated Job 2:10 Father simply asked ... "Why didn't you rejoice at the death of these 3 aforementioned saints?" What! Well, if I must state the obvious, (as if He didn't already know) we are grieving the huge loss of their physical presence here on earth. I felt the rising of a 2 year old tantrum, "No, you can't make me rejoice in these deaths, you can't make me accept this as good, it's not!"

"These three deaths are as precious to Me as the recovery miracle Carlos is experiencing. And, as difficult as it is, all are cause for rejoicing."

My grief may be to raw and real, to completely embrace this sentiment as my own, however ... there is a peace that settles deep in my soul and the hint of a smile canvases my tear stained face ... In His goodness, that hint of a smile sows a seed of hope. He gently whispers, "When surrounded with loss, one needs to look for the gain." I may not yet embrace the gain completely, however, hope reminds me that "they've run the race, they've fought the good fight, they've reached their eternal reward, this is cause for rejoicing! As the tears flow, a song rises in my soul ... "Yes I will, lift You high in the lowest valley, Yes I will, bless Your name, Oh, yes I will, sing for joy when my heart is heavy, All my days, oh yes I will."

But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more. My mouth will tell of your righteousness, of your salvation all day long, thought I know not it's measure.

Psalm 71:14-15

Can you just imagine the huge celebration going on beyond the pearly gates? I mean seriously, the eruption of praise and awestruck wonder as they enter the sweetest Presence we can only at present imagine! As this picture plays out in my minds eye, I can see Delynn making Lancaster Co. connections with both these mighty men, partying with Jesus and feasting on the heavenliest chicherones one has ever sunk their teeth into!

Mourning in hope ... I know that my Redeemer lives ... Looking for the gain

Life on the Mountain
Restrictions are lifting slightly, we can now be out after 5:00 pm! ... Life feels very routine, we have a lot of family time ... Finding time alone is a precious commodity ... Ministry via zoom calls is the new normal, missing the personal contact ... El Nido babies continue to be born, a sweet gift in this time of uncertainty ... Giving ourselves time to rest and heal and nourishing our soul with His healing presence ... Organizing the questions, finding some answers, daily running to Father for wisdom ... Seeking His goodness, looking for the gain.

Praises
Carlos is on the road to recovery
Healing for our family
Micah settling into routine as the school year starts in PA
Friends who understand our hearts and want to listen
Morning walks
Celebrating 19 years of marriage this week
Fernando and Alexandra, their friendship, lawyer advice and how they care for us.
God's provision of interim directors where we need them (Steve Shank, Delmys, Manu & Liz)
We are surrounded by His goodness

Prayers
A week of exams for Jedi and Adam
Peaceful sleep for all of us, specifically Joseph
God's next steps for VidaNet
Joseph and Jedidiah's relationship
Safe, healthy delivery for Liz
God to open Meli's womb
God's direction for the Association of VidaNet and how it affects our residency process
Open our eyes Father to see Your goodness and the gain in this season of loss